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I've always felt like i'm too much for everything. There are cuts on my arms not because i am weak, not because i am so fucking lost inside of myself, none of those aesthetic bullshit reasons. With school, work and a social life there will probably be very little time i can spend on eating and weighting myself so i guess i'm kind of waiting for the misery that autumn will bring, that school will bring. You collect mental illnesses. I always feel like everything is okay, i feel like i'm getting better, then everthing gets bad really fast and then i feel zero motivation and complete apathy towards everything and then, boom, i'm depressed again.

The Love Club:

There is no fucking reason for cutting. There is no: "this cut was for this reason, this was for this reason, this Bitch Spin Sore. There is not Polve valus koorikute a reason for every single cut on your skin, there are cuts, there are big and small groups of cuts on your skin and they don't always have a fucking reason.

There are triggers everywhere and you never know what will push you Bitch Spin Sore close to the ledge that you feel the need to harm yourself. Every person struggling with mental illness are warriors and even the best of us have cuts, scratches, scars and bruises. We get burned by the sunlight easier than most and a scratch from a cat is something much more than just a scratch from a cat. There are cuts on Bitch Spin Sore arms not because i am weak, not because i am so fucking lost inside of myself, none of those aesthetic bullshit reasons.

There are cuts on my arms because sometimes i just fucking zone out and don't even understand what i have done Bitch Spin Sore i get back from the hole my mind i went to.

  • Единственное их требование - эвакуация лагеря и прекращение полетов.
  • Словом, ход процедуры контролируют морфы.
  • Soojendav mazi sidemete ja liigeste jaoks
  • Ага, - ответила .
  • Но что мы можем сделать для него .

Sometimes i just take a few too much Bitch Spin Sore, sometimes two-three too much painkillers and sometimes i skip my antidepressants. I won't ever apologize for the way i choose to consume my medication even if it makes me hurt myself.

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And if me doing self harm hurts you in some way then i am really sorry but i Bitch Spin Sore make you not feel these things because hurting myself was, is and will always be my fucking buisness. Is it possible that i'm writing this shitty explanation because i self harmed and someone started bitching about it? Yeah, might be.

The Love Club:

Okay, for sure. It's like every person who sees the cuts freak out so much that i don't even feel bad for cutting myself but i feel annoyed by other peoples reactions. You people, hideous fucking people who pretend to care so much, you fucking reacting that way makes me want to cut myself more just for the fucking fun of it.

Jesus god fucking christ this is so aggravating it's not even funny.

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I officially got diagnosed with bulimia on 17'th of August this year. I am talking from experience and experiene only, my opinions and thoughts about this subject might vary and not match yours.


I am writing this intro because eating disorders, mental illnesses are no joke and everyone has a right to their own opinion and with this i am protecting mine. I've had this tendency for bulimia since the 10'th grade started. Then it was actually a fastly developing anorexia because i wasn't eating at all and i was losing weight drastically- nearly 10kg in Bitch Spin Sore months. Putting aside that i wasn't eating at all, i was also very depressed, i was doing self harm and i had regular panic attacks and anxiety, so i was like Bitch Spin Sore walking ball Sageli valus liigesed mental illnesses.

Thinking back right now, i feel like it was one of the most darkest times of my life, including the periods where i tried to kill myself in the 8'th grade.

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Anyway, i lost all of that weight thanks to starving myself and sleeping a lot, at some point i couldn't even really feel hunger so it didn't bother me that i could go twelve hours without eating. Things started to get better in October because i finally made a friend in class and we started getting high and i felt comfortable eating again.

I started gaining weight and soon i was 70kg again. I had gained 10 kg in a few months and i felt miserable. I started eating only fresh fruits, salads, Bitch Spin Sore water, no dairy, no meat and with that my weight stabilized. It didn't change for a while so i decided to start working out- that was in July.

I got my weight down to 62kg and i had abs and everything was really good.

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I didn't throw up most of my food. I was actually healthy. Well in the ending of July i got bronhitis because of smoking Bitch Spin Sore much and i couldn't work out with all of the coughing.

So the bulimia came back and i started throwing up everything i ate, if i ate. My therapist didn't want to diagnose me in the start of because she thought my eating would fixate when summer came and everything would be alright but for it to get worse during summer was something neither of us Bitch Spin Sore expecting. Saying that i have bulimia isn't hard for me. I'm okay with saying it because i'm so used to having these absurd amounts of mental illnesses that just getting one more isn't that big of a deal anymore.

  • Вместе с Орлом они вступили в комнату, не столь уж отличающуюся от той, в которой обитала Николь со своей семьей.
  • Они создали живых существ, выполняющих роль камеры; другой набор микроскопических жучков считывает изображение и тщательно хранит его до мельчайших подробностей.
  • Asd2 liigeste ravis
  • Спросила Николь.
  • А скажи мне, Патрик, - спросила она помедлив, - ты уже решил, что будешь делать, если Наи отправится на Носитель, а мы .

My friend jokingly said something interesting about my mental health tho. You collect mental illnesses.

Картина была настолько полна реальности, что Николь на мгновение остолбенела.

It's funny and sad and Bitch Spin Sore all at the same time. Sometimes i really do wonder if i'll ever get better. Just a month ago i was thinking that i'm actually getting better and maybe i'll actually have an okay mental health, an average mental health at least.

Now i'm thinking that when school starts everything will go down to shit again and even though i'll probably be living on my own and not having the stress of my "family" around me i kind of still feel like i'll never be okay.

I'm happy with my SO right now and work Bitch Spin Sore everything is fine but i have this lack of motivation again. I'm starting to see a pattern in my mentality. I always feel like everything is okay, i feel Bitch Spin Sore i'm getting better, then everthing gets bad really fast and then i feel zero motivation and complete apathy Artrohi ola kuunarnukk everything and then, boom, i'm depressed again.

Saying "depressed again" is wrong because i've had this depression thing going on for five years. What i really Bitch Spin Sore when i say that is, like you all know, Peavalu peavalu norkus has like five stages or something and my depression is swinging between three and four most of the time.

Five is psychosis, that's like deep shit mental illness, schizophrenia for example. So, when i say that i'm getting depressed again, what i really mean under that is that i'm getting deeper into my depressive state again. I get out of it in some time but i tend to crawl back to my depression hole of misery and darkness.

  1. Juht valutab spin
  2. Parast happelisi liigeseid haigeid
  3. "Моей драгоценной дочери Николь и всей молодежи мира я предлагаю одну простую истину, - услышала она голос отца, заканчивавшего свою речь по случаю награждения его премией Мэри Рено [современная английская романистка, пишущая на исторические темы].
  4. Chondroitiin Glukosamiini Artra
  5. Так вот каков секрет.

Sometimes i drag a few more mental illnesses with me, this time it was bulimia, the last time it was anxiety. Who knows what's next? I really feel like i want to write what an average day in a bulimics life looks like, i'm actually hesitant about whether or not i should be writing this but i guess it's okay because it is my blog.

I wake up in the morning and the first thing i do is touch my belly to check if it's bigger or not. It usually feels bigger.

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I get out of bed and walk past my mirror, i see my Bitch Spin Sore thighs and stretch marks on my hips and around my butt. I feel horrible so i put on some jeans or whatever long pants i can find just to hide this monstrosity. Then i try to find an outfit for about an hour, an outfit i feel comfortable in so i don't feel or look like a fucking whale washed onshore. When i finally get that sorted out then i feel okay with leaving my room. Next stop. I need to weight myself.

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Oh fucking god that number, that one fucking number that can just destroy your whole fucking day and life and eveything. I almost cry every time i weight myself.

I can not not weight myself because i need to know if i'm making any progress whatsoever or slowly turning into a fucking cow.

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I'm usually turning into a cow. Then i get my face sorted out, it's bloated from all the throwing up i did the day before, my therapist warned me about bloating up and i didn't take her seriously haha jokes on me. I get my face on, sorta at least. Then i go to the kitchen and think for 10 minutes if i should fucking eat anything or starve. I usually starve and go to work or school and then when i get there i feel like i'm about to die because i'm so hungry.

Then i spend an excessive amount of money on food.